My first week in Manhattan went like this: When I saw the Chrysler building for the first time, I felt nothing. When I heard jazz musicians playing in Central Park, I wasn't into it. And the Roman wing of the MET bored me to tears. The Museum of Natural History was so museumy. Everything felt so untouchable behind those glass cases.
I panicked when I did not love the city instantly.
But with each month I live here, I become more invested in the city. I've been back to the MET's Roman wing and adored it. I got a membership to the Museum of Natural History after visiting it twice. We go every two weeks. And walking everywhere has actually had a slowing effect on my life that has been wonderful. Also I'm making friends!
This isn't the first time I've had to give some time in order to fall in love. It took me a whole year to realize Rob is hilarious which led me to fall in love with him. And look at us now! I'm still sticking around for his next joke.
Motherhood was the same. I remember panicking when I didn't have this crazy bonding experience with Ella and the boys when they were first born. I envy mothers who have that instantly. It took me months of bonding. Now I don't know what I would do with out those little guys. Oh yeah, not get woken up at 5:30am.
I met a woman the other day who had lived in San Francisco for 25 years. We reminisced about the Ferry Building and Acme Bread. But then she leaned into me and said in almost a whisper, "You want to know something? You'll never go back. You'll go back of course, but you can never live there again." Such a shocking thing to say to me, but the more I live here, the more I think she might be right. I'm getting spoiled by having access to the best of the best. Some of it's out of reach ($35,000 private elementary schools for example), but most of it I can enjoy at some level (Spanish Immersion in the public schools).
But with each month I live here, I become more invested in the city. I've been back to the MET's Roman wing and adored it. I got a membership to the Museum of Natural History after visiting it twice. We go every two weeks. And walking everywhere has actually had a slowing effect on my life that has been wonderful. Also I'm making friends!
This isn't the first time I've had to give some time in order to fall in love. It took me a whole year to realize Rob is hilarious which led me to fall in love with him. And look at us now! I'm still sticking around for his next joke.
Motherhood was the same. I remember panicking when I didn't have this crazy bonding experience with Ella and the boys when they were first born. I envy mothers who have that instantly. It took me months of bonding. Now I don't know what I would do with out those little guys. Oh yeah, not get woken up at 5:30am.
I met a woman the other day who had lived in San Francisco for 25 years. We reminisced about the Ferry Building and Acme Bread. But then she leaned into me and said in almost a whisper, "You want to know something? You'll never go back. You'll go back of course, but you can never live there again." Such a shocking thing to say to me, but the more I live here, the more I think she might be right. I'm getting spoiled by having access to the best of the best. Some of it's out of reach ($35,000 private elementary schools for example), but most of it I can enjoy at some level (Spanish Immersion in the public schools).
And with that, I leave this post with a clip from one of NYC's biggest fan's: Woody Allen. The first 3 minutes of the movie Manhattan captures the feelings many New Yorkers have with this place. I hope someday, I too can claim this city as mine.
Lovely post. I've heard it said you will never go back once leaving this city, it makes me nervous. And I was the same no instant bonding with either of my kids it was a slow process over months and I'm slightly suspicious of people who have the gushing instant love, it doesn't seem natural...but I suppose I'm jealous of the idea and now can't imagine it's possible to love my babies more? I love your updates, I sometimes feel such a strong pull back to New York. You are lucky.
ReplyDeleteyou're making me homesick!!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post! Thanks for putting your feelings about NY into words.
ReplyDelete